Day 9 of 365 days to a better me

So I am trying to just be.
So little is devloping as I think it should.

What I am grateful for today:
My children are alive and healthy and so is Noeine my dog.
I have use of all my limbs and faculties.
I have a roof over my head and clothing and certainly more than enough food to eat.
I have ahorse to love and pet where I live.
I have friends who care about me and support me even when I make stupid decisions and cheer me on when I make good ones.
I am having an unexpected staycation this week-end. Much needed too!
I have a job.
I have marketable skills as a nurse and a writer.
The dessert is always different daily and always beautiful.

OK. So on the dietary front of improvement I have to actually eat some dinner when I get home. Not hungry today really. I had one glass of fresh squeezed grapefruit juice this morning and espresso with probably a cup and a half total .soymilk plus two teaspoons of cinnamon sugar. That is all to eat, no exercise today really either. Did my laundry today, although it needs finishing when I return home from this little library/computer break.

Which leads to my dating escapades. so I joined a dating site and committed to myself that I would at least go on three dates before washing my hands of relationship attempts this year.

My first date was a gentleman who is my age, although he looks a bit more worn around the edges. A literate man, actually wrote reviews for the Library Journal at one point, designed a role playing game (more solitaire than group oriented) that has been around for 30  years t least, like classical music and can talk art. We went to see the new Robert Downey Jr movie, Sherlock Holmes as a steampunk action hero bromance that was well worth the ticket price. And he was a gentleman, buying my ticket and a drink for me. So far awesome potential if with every geeks awkwardness as to how to actually approach things like holding my hand, etc. The date kind of tanked though for me on the technicality that he lives with his wife and sone. Yup, not ex-wife but wife and obviously needed to get home for dinner as he began watch checking as our date came to a close. Oh well,

Number two has yet to happen but will certainly blog about it for what it is worth. So many  people talking, blogging, etc. The din of self-confession on these cyberways is overwhelming.

A post on Soul Pancake asks what is the change I am being,,,If  I am to be the change I want to see first task would be to determine what it is I want to see.

That is one of the distinct problems of living beyond ones assigned expiration datte....so I beat the cancer, now what? If I am to go on and live for another decade or three, who do I want to be, what do I want the world I live in to look like?

I feel a collage session coming on.....